Illustration by Bill Rotsler
Wurlitzer,
the Official Organ
(Do you want to know more?)
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The Tin Commandments
- Copy count for LASFAPA is 16.
- Deadline for each mailing will be the second Friday of each month
at 11825 Gilmore Street, #105, North Hollywood, CA, 91606, USA.
Locally delivered copies can be handed to me at LASFS -- on Thursday
-- before 9:00 p.m. Copies can be left for the
LTG in the De Profundis box at LASFS (which is where I will
leave disties on the Thursday after collation); however, as I am at
LASFS on Friday nights at 7:00 p.m., I can pick up zines for collation
at that time -- but try to get to LASFS no later than 8:30 p.m. Regular
Saturday mail is very unreliable. Therefore only Special-Service
(such as FedEx and the like) delivery that will be delivered before
Noon will be accepted on Disty Day Saturdays. Please let me know in
advance if you are sending me something that will arrive on Saturday
morning because, if I am unaware of potential deliveries, I will finish
collation as soon as I receive the last zines that I am expecting.
- Minac is two pages every other distribution (every third distribution
for overseas members).
- The Little Tin God will act as agent for preprinted, Uncollated
zines. The Little Tin God will also print zines for members;
however, if you want him to print your zines you absolutely MUST
have the originals to him before he leaves LASFS on the Thursday before
deadline -- and before 5:00 p.m. on Thursday if you are sending
him your zines electronically.
- Copies of Wurlitzer will be distributed to waitlisters -- if we
ever get back to that point. Waitlisters and others may purchase
copies of disties for a mere 50 cents (plus envelope cost postage).
- Dues are now $2.00 per annum. If a member drops during
this period and then rejoins, new yearly dues must be paid upon rejoining.
The practice of constantly joining and dropping is discouraged.
- Whilst we prefer standard 8 1/2 x 11 paper, overseas members can
submit the nearest equivalent size. No bulky inclusions will
be accepted.
- LASFAPA has a roster limit of 25 (hah!) -- we encourage members
to proselytize.
- All ootie members are to have an account with the LTG to cover costs
of printing (if needed) and postage.
- Minac credit will only be given for zines originated for, or first
appearing in, LASFAPA. Members may contribute or frank anything
they wish, but these items will not count toward minac.
Revelations
(slightly tweaked for the online reader)
- Things do not always remain the same with the Little Tin God.
Ergo, these rules will change from time to time. But your Little
Tin God will continue to speak in his old, god-like tones. Any resemblance
'twixt god-like tones and smartassery is entirely intentional.
- As in the past, I am amenable to giving Grace -- if there are good
reasons for doing so. Unlike in the recent past, the most deadline
pushing I will agree to is mail delivery on the Saturday after deadline;
anything that gets to me on this Saturday will be placed at the end
of the disty. A caveat on this Saturday delivery: as it has become
so erratic that delivery times vary 'twixt 10:30 a.m. and 5:30 p.m.
do not count on Saturday delivery being worth much -- for me to meet
the 3:00 p.m. mailing deadline at the Post Office, I am using 1:30
p.m. as the deadline for things to get to me; after that, it is in
the next disty. Deadline pushers run the risk of not-nice things
happening to them. Praying will not help, nor will preying.
- The Stevie for [the current month] goes to [member name] with [obscenely
large number of] pages.
- Your account is now ______. If there is not enough money here
for printing/mailing/etc. for the next disty, do not expect this semi-impecunious
LTG to carry you. Send funds post haste. [If this were a real
copy of the APA, a number would be written in the blank space.]
- If there is a mark in the space at the end of this revelation, bye-bye
-- you are off the roster, you will not get the next disty, and you
will have to join another religion. Unless you beg absolution
and Do Something Real Soon Now (or even earlier) -- like sending a
zine for the next issue. Or money. ____ [If this
were a real copy of the APA, a checkmark might or might not be scrawled
in the blank space.]
- Please Note Speaking In Tongues, the section wherein I will
list edresses of any member who wishes me to do so. Please let
me know if you wish to be listed. [This section does not appear
on the web page. Hey, if you're so crazy to get our email addresses,
sign up with the APA awreddy.]
- Please note ICONOGRAPHY, the section
that lists LASFAPA saints. LASFAPA saints are those members who die
whilst members. As you can see, it is easy for any member to
become a saint -- all that you have to do is up and die. Well,
it will guarantee continuing membership without the payment of dues
-- but what is the postage to wherever you are?
- All zine transfers at LASFS should now take place in the De Prof
mailbox, not the Library mailbox.
Roster of Disciples
- Marty Cantor
- Jack Calvert
- Chris Garcia
- Andrew Ivamy
- Mistie M. Joyce
- Janice Morningstar
- David Schlosser & Kay McCutcheon
- Vanessa Schnatmeier
- Alan Winston
Deities
- Harry Andruschak: OE, #1-#8
- Marty Cantor: Little Tin God, #9-#64
- David Schlosser: Little Sin God, #65-#173
- Robbie Cantor: Little Snow God, #174-#199
- Matthew Tepper: Grand Old Duck, #200-#214
- Robbie Cantor: Little Snow God, #215-#246
- Michael Mason: Little Gold Deity, #247-#274
- Marty Cantor: Little Tin God, #275-present
Iconography
- Saint Mike Wood
- Saint Seth Goldberg
- Saint Gary Louie
- Saint Michael Mason
Honorary Saint
Glossary
- Fandom -- While a garden variety "fan" could be any follower,
devotee, or admirer of any sport or diversion, "fandom" is, for lack
of a better word, the tribe that develops around that particular sport
or diversion. In the case of LASFAPA we're talking mostly science-fiction
fandom, but other fandoms may overlap, e.g., animation, art, cult
movies, gardening, music, convention running, gaming, history, and
gratuitous silly jokes.
- Fanac -- FANnish ACtivity. What fans do within their particular
fandom.
- Little Tin God -- The name Marty Cantor has chosen for himself
as Official Editor (mailing manager) for LASFAPA. Each new editor
has the privilege of choosing his or her title based on their deepest
inner desires. (See the List of Deities above.)
- Stevie -- An "award" given to the person who produces the
largest number of pages for the APA in a particular month. Named after
Steve Tymon, known logorrhetic, who once ran a several-hundred page
zine through the APA. Amusingly enough, immediately after producing
that extinction-level zine, Steve made his first professional fiction
sale to Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine -- for a short-short
story.
- De Profundis - The monthly newszine of the LASFS,
which contains abridged meeting minutes, notices of events of fannish
interest, and sometimes letters written to the club. Called De
Prof for short. Currently edited by Marty Cantor, LASFAPA's Little
Tin God.
- Disty -- Short for "distribution." Technically, for most
of the membership LASFAPA is mailed and not distributed, as in "distributed
at the LASFS meeting." But it's more fun to say "disty" and so sometimes
we forget.
- Wurlitzer -- The collected Table of Contents, lists of members,
notices, and rules, and administrative trivia that leads off every
mailing of LASFAPA. Why "Wurlitzer"? Because it's the Official Organ.
Well, you asked.
- LASFS, or the Los Angeles
Science Fantasy Society. The oldest continuously meeting science-fiction
club in the world. The LASFS has served as the incubator for many
well-known writers, artists, and editors. It has also fostered a community
of people who devote time, energy, and money to pursuits of fun and
sometimes profit in the general field of fantasy and science fiction.
In other words, it's a collection of professionals, geeks, weirdos,
and some cheerfully normal people who just like to read and discuss
literature and other media, and to amuse themselves by applying analytical
techniques to things not meant to be analyzed. Once you're a member,
Death Will Not Release You.
- Finally, if you're interested in fan history and terminology
in general, try The Fanac Fan History
Project, specifically the Reference section.
Now goest thou, bow down, and pray hard. Very
hard. It will not do you any good.
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